


Every Bird Has an Opinion

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [30]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 21:30:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3304157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick tried to deliver Darcy's dresses to Avengers tower first. That's how he ended up knowing what just about every bird had to say about what Darcy should wear to the Avengers gala.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Bird Has an Opinion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shadows_of_Shemai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadows_of_Shemai/gifts).



> This is one of those "it came out of a comment" fics. I got asked if the arguing birds were Clint and Sam or Robins, and since I'd actually meant the Birds of Prey, but thought the other ideas were hilarious, this happened.

* * *

“There is a whole door for delivery people, you know.”

Dick forced a thin smile. “Yes, and most of them are marked. Yours isn't. Yours is also one of the only buildings I know of that does security by archery. Did you lose a bet or are you a Green Arrow fan?”

“You don't know who he is? Seriously? The guy's Hawkeye. Avenger. Legend.”

Dick could have said _he_ was a legend, that he'd been one since he was nine, that he'd also led teams of legends for years and called Superman 'uncle,' but he was not here to pick a fight, and he knew better than to give away his secret identity like that.

“Well, I am looking for Darcy. I have something for her, but if she's not here, I'm going.”

“We need to search that,” the other man said, taking it from Dick's hands. He balled his fists, trying not to get angry. This was all supposed to be simple—though how anything could be simple after hearing all of Babs' Birds of Prey argue over what Darcy should wear to the Avengers gala, he didn't know. He was just lucky that Dinah hadn't used the canary cry to win that argument.

“Whoa. Now what is this?”

The archer pointed an arrow at Dick again. “You the one that broke in here? Her boyfriend?”

“No. I'm not. I'm just...” _a friend who has gotten stuck in the middle of their messes way too many times for my liking._ “...the delivery guy.”

The archer was very suspicious. Too suspicious. “And how does Darcy, who just graduated and just started working for us have the money for all of these dresses?”

“Do I look like I know? I don't.” Dick figured it was Babs pulling money out of the trust fund set aside for Jason that he had never reclaimed and Bruce had never liquidated even after Jason died, but he didn't know. He wasn't actually lying. Just concealing something.

“Yeah, well, I think you're kind of suspicious and we might have to keep you here for a while.”

Dick sighed, reaching for his wallet. The archer fired an arrow, and Dick instinctively rolled out the way. “I know I'm out of my jurisdiction here, but you just shot at a cop. You really want to continue this? All I wanted to do was drop off the damn dresses as a favor to a friend.”

“Nice going, Hawkeye.”

“We don't know he's a cop, Falcon,” the archer said. “You got some I.D. for that?”

Dick took out his wallet and held up the badge. “Now is Darcy here or not?”

“Not. Think she's at home. They're still trying to decide if she's keeping her job after the whole boyfriend breaking in thing,” Falcon said. He shoved the dresses back in the box. “Here. I think the red one's better. 'Specially with the boyfriend she's got.”

“Dressing alike is so _wrong,”_ Hawkeye said. “Tell her to wear the purple one.”

Well, that would make Huntress happy, but it was bound to piss off Canary, who'd gone with a dress as blue as that one costume as hers as well as Lady Blackhawk who had gone, predictably, with something black and even Babs, but not because of the dress. She still had some issues with Huntress that were in part Dick's fault. The red had been Babs' choice, though everyone had given her crap about not picking Nightwing blue.

Dick honestly didn't care what Darcy wore so long as he stopped getting stuck in the middle of all of this crap.

And to hell with it. He was going to Jason's safehouse as Nightwing. It was just easier that way, at least as long as he managed to avoid any Robins along the way. He did not want to know what Tim _or_ Damian thought about Darcy's dresses.

He doubted he'd be that lucky, though.


End file.
